“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”
Late President of the Bi-Lo Stores
Let’s pretend for a second… Let’s pretend i have an idea of what am i doing, what and how to write it… because if we don’t pretend i won’t get there any time soon…
So, yeah… (let’s be honest) i don’t spend as much time as i would want in front of the computer trying to write entries, but i do go everywhere with my little notebook, trying to find the right words to describe things, words i cannot find even when my mind is so full of them, they wake me up at night because they have the need of being said, or thought or whatever they want from me.
Is it just me? I hadn’t found another person in my surroundings with the same problem, like, at first i was sure it’s normal to wake up 3am to think a little more … but at some point people started to tell me they didn’t and i started asking myself why do i need to wake up in the middle of the night just so words could cross my mind, don’t i have enough time in the day to do it?
I was told once a normal person has about 30,000 thoughts per day, but now i just read it’s about 50,000 which seems more accurate to my situation, but even then, i have the feeling that my mind is in a race and no other person is even near to all the thoughts my brain produces per day. It may sound a bit arrogant (or not, my standard for arrogancy is pretty low) but i can find myself not even having the *time* to finish one thought and my mind is already thinking about another five things and then i have to go back and finsih the thougth, because even though i know the end of it i just can’t continue if my mind didn’t finish its saying…
Once i asked my mother about it, she told me it doesn’t happen to her, but it may happen to other people, i’m yet to find them, though.
Another thing i’m looking for is people who can think about different things simultaniously, it can be any kind of idea, memories, songs, pictures… it couldd be anything really. Also, if you know anyone who can think in colours, i would really like to know about it.
Is it such a weird thing or i’m just looking for these people in the wrong places? Like, there’s so many people in the world and so little patterns to our beings, it must repeat itself somewhere, right? Is someone out there I already know like me but i couldn’t see it in them?
I’m starting to think the problem with my entries is how selfcentred i’m when i start writing them.. As if anyone would even care about what a random anonymous girl would have to say, as if there weren’t already so many people speaking their minds on the internet, but at the same time, if they can do it why shouldn’t I?