Last friday, somehow, even though i was not ready to be really productive, i found myself in a psychometric’s exam preparation class… I gotta admit that i don’t remember s**t about the stuff in the exam, but i guess that’s because i took the exam a long while ago. Anyway, it felt really good to start studying and actually doing something apart of working, reading or watching tv shows all day. Wow, when saying it like that it feels more than in my mind, but i guess it isn’t, normally i can think about what i do properly, so i suppose that if i thought it isn’t much, it ISN’T MUCH.
Anyhow, having to study math again feels so weird, and i don’t remember anything which made me feel very uncomfortable and kind of embarrased because i want to major in biochemestry or biotechnology and math is such a big part of science that not remembering anything, i felt unworthy of my dreams…
Obviously the fact that i only started studying for the exam give me a little hope, i can still nail the mathematical part of the exam if i give all i have studying and preparing for it, i have until July to work it out.
English and Spanish don’t scare me as much as Mathematics, mostly because i never had a panic attack while studying those subjests, also because i use them way more in my daily life… The teacher told us we have to read everyday in both languages to help us in reading comprehension, grammar, vocabulary and so… and i was like “oh, no.. having to read or write in both languages as practice everyday”
I don’t know, like… having to study so i can start a proper education is really important to me, mostly because i always wanted to have a degree…it may be the only dream i really had my whole life so it’s kind of nice keep on track, keep believing i can do it, but what if i can’t? i know it’s not like it’s my last change on doing something with my life really, i’m young and i really hope i have many more years ahead of me, but then i can’t help but thing, what if i don’t? what if i don’t have as much time as i thought? and why do i have to creep out myself every single time?
Nevermind, i guess, i’ll have to keep myself from dropping out again, it’s just an exam.. i don’t have to figure out my whole life this very moment… as i said, i’m young, i’m trying my best, i’m doing as much as i can…now i just have to really start believing in myself.
And so, hoping for the best, i start (yet again) studying for this horrible horrible exam…
wish me luck!